Here’s Lucy

Richard: Well, what would you think if I told you I’d turned plumber, mended her leaky pipes, met a man who was Cleopatra, and she’s got your ring on her finger and she can’t get it off?

Elizabeth: [Laughing] I’d say your cocktail hour had started a little early today.

Elizabeth, Richard, and the Taylor-Burton diamond helped kick off season three of Here’s Lucy when “Lucy Meets the Burtons”. On the hit CBS sitcom that ran from 1968-1974, Lucille Ball stars as “Lucy Carter, a widow raising two teenage children in Los Angeles, who works as a secretary in an employment agency owned by her stuffy brother-in-law”.

Richard needs to get Elizabeth’s ring fixed while she’s out shopping, but there’s a slight snag: their Los Angeles hotel is mobbed by the press and fans hoping to catch a glimpse of the famous couple. (Even the back is “completely blocked by the Elizabeth Taylor Fan Club, Glendale chapter.”) He devises a plan to masquerade as a plumber so he can leave the hotel undetected. As he slips past the hordes, Lucy, joining the many fans gathered at the hotel on her lunch hour, is taken in by the disguise and drags Richard to her office to fix her faucet. He tries to explain to her that he’s not actually a plumber, but to no avail. He takes pity on her and agrees to at least attempt to fix her faucet. It isn’t until her boss returns that she finally realizes who he is. After making his departure (and successfully fixing her faucet), he accidentally leaves behind his plumbers’ overalls, with the Taylor-Burton diamond in the pocket. “I’m doing what every red-blooded woman in America would do,” she tells her boss. “I’m going to try it on!” Lucy slips the ring on her finger and, you guessed it, can’t get it off.

Richard, realizing he’s forgotten “the Mrs’ ring,” returns to collect it. Lucy confesses to Richard that it’s stuck on her finger. He tells her that Elizabeth planned to wear it to a press party that evening and he simply must have it back.

He returns to the hotel suite with Lucy in tow, and the two explain to Elizabeth (who finally makes her appearance nineteen minutes into the episode), the misadventure that has transpired. “Your eyes really are lavender,” a starstruck Lucy tells Elizabeth. “Wait til she hears the news,” Richard quips, “and mine will be black and blue.” Elizabeth suggests pouring champagne over Lucy’s hand to try and loosen it. “Champagne is good for everything,” Elizabeth tells Lucy. “I wash my hair in it.” Lucy tells Elizabeth that she washes hers in beer.

Elizabeth then tries to yank the ring off Lucy’s finger. “Oh, your majesty!” Lucy cries. “She’s little, but she’s strong!” No luck. The ring simply will not budge. Lucy asks whether there’s anything else they can try. “Does the word amputation ring a bell?” Elizabeth, affecting an accent, asks, drawing one of the biggest laughs of the episode.

The zany red head hits upon an idea. That night, as each member of the Hollywood press (Cecil Smith, Joyce Haber, Jim Bacon, and Vernon Scott, appearing as themselves) asks to see the ring, out shoots Lucy’s bejeweled hand through a sleeve of Elizabeth’s caftan (Lucy is concealed behind a curtain). The laughter doesn’t let up as Lucy’s hand also alternately adjusts Elizabeth’s caftan, buffs the ring, caresses Richard’s face, and grabs a glass of champagne. “And they call me a two-fisted drinker,” Richard quips. Lucy begs the Hollywood’s most famous couple for their forgiveness, which they happily give, thereby ending one of the small screen’s most hilarious guest appearances.

Behind-the-Scenes of “Lucy Meets the Burtons”

“Lucy Meets the Burtons,” which marks Elizabeth and Richard’s first foray into episodic television, proved to be ratings gold. They rehearsed for three days (Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday) before shooting in front of a live audience on the Thursday. “I must confess to a little excitement about the show because, I suppose, I haven’t worked for so long,” Richard wrote. But, he added, he had been warned that Ball could be “very wearing to work with.” Neither of the Burtons particularly enjoyed the experience of working with the TV legend, which Richard details in his diaries.

There was increased security on the set as Elizabeth insisted that the actual Taylor-Burton diamond be used rather than a replica. Ball’s daughter, Lucie Arnaz, a Here’s Lucy series regular who doesn’t appear in the episode (“there were too many people to write for,” she later said), was present on the set for “Lucy Meets the Burtons”. She had just become engaged and later said that her engagement ring “looked like a spitball” next to the Taylor-Burton diamond. She added that Elizabeth nonetheless gushed over her ring, and also passed along some important insider advice. She recommended Lucie keep her diamond clean with toothpaste, advice Arnaz follows to this day.