High Society

The jewel thief strikes again! On High Society, a sitcom following the misadventures of two outrageous women living in New York, Ellie (Jean Smart) and Dott (Mary McDonnell), the two are robbed at gunpoint and tied up, with the thief absconding with their jewels. Learning that Elizabeth’s pearls have also recently gone missing, an unsympathetic Ellie says, “Oh, please! What does Liz Taylor know about tragedy?”

When the police eventually return Dott and Ellie’s jewels, Elizabeth’s pearls are among them, and the two, after making a half-hearted attempt to call back the police officers, decide to keep them. As the two admire the pearls, the door to the apartment can be heard opening and a voice says, “Not so fast, comrades.” It’s Elizabeth, echoing her iconic line from the White Diamonds commercial. “They’re mine.” Dott and Ellie look on, stunned, with Dott just managing to get out “Elizabeth Taylor….” “These have always brought me luck,” Elizabeth says, another callback to White Diamonds, before her arm grabs the pearls. (Elizabeth is not visible at all during the scene.) 

The pearls are finally back with their rightful owner. Or are they?

After the final scene of High Society, the two stars of The Nanny (Fran Drescher and Charles Shaughnessy) reappear, and a relieved Maxwell informs Fran that Elizabeth’s pearls have been found and she will appear in his play after all. Fran then casts doubt on the authenticity of the recovered pearls, suggesting that “somebody could have switched the pearls for fakes before the thief got to them” before conceding that “who would switch the pearls? I’m the only one that knew they were there.” But, when Maxwell turns his back, Fran has an uneasy look written on her face.

Cut to Cozette (Rosie O’Donnell), driving her cab. When someone tries to hail her taxi, she hollers out the window that she’s “retired—for good!” Elizabeth’s string of pearls are around her neck. “Thank you, Liz,” she says, “wherever you are!”

As the credits for High Society roll, we see Elizabeth and Fran on the Sheffield’s sofa. “Oh, it feels so good to have my black pearls back where they belong,” Elizabeth says, holding her pearls. “And thanks to all the CBS stars who helped me find them.”

“As for me,” says Fran, “well I’m running late for a cappuccino date with that adorable Chuck Norris.” She tries her luck one more time. “Could I....?" she says, pointing to the pearls.

“No.”

“Oh.”